This morning I got on my scale fully clothed without shoes. The kind voice of a woman said, “Four Hundred and eighteen pounds” (I have a talking scale so I cannot cheat). I was thrilled and surprised. I hurried to get ready to go weigh in at the clinic before I gained any weight. I didn’t drink anything, take my pills or eat anything. I stuffed an apple in my purse and rushed out the door.
At the clinic, I weighed in I was surprised to see I had lost two more pounds since leaving home. I weighed 416.2. Wow! in one week I lost 17.8 pounds! Whoa!!! In one week. My first goal is to lose anything even 2 ounces when I get on the scale at the clinic or at home. After I reach 20 pounds lost, I’m going to go get my hair cut. After that?? My main goal is to just keep following the program and lose more weight. I desperately want a bike–mine Trek navigator bike was stolen–so I can go for bike rides again and help fuel the furnace of weight loss. I’m looking forward to getting back to 350 pounds. I remember there were so many things I could do back then. I miss walking normally up or down the stairs. I miss feeling lighter. I miss not having to pull my legs in or out of the car or wrestle with my feet to get them into the car because I have trouble lifting my legs because they are so heavy. I miss going for long walks and not getting winded. I miss riding my bike around Mackinac Island. I miss feeling good. I miss having my back be free from pain. I miss my small feet and slim ankles. There is so much I am missing. I want to go camping again. I loved camping, sleeping in a tent, cooking over an open fire, feeling the cold of morning. I miss being able to sit in regular outdoor chairs. I miss not having to read labels to find out the weight limit on equipment or furniture. I miss wondering if I’ll break a chair or break the chair at the office because of my weight. There is so much I’ve missed by choosing to be so bad to myself.