Chew, Chew and Chew

I no longer have a regular stomach. Tonight I forgot that as I ate a pork chop. I chewed a few times and swallowed a chunk way too big. That was frightening. So far so good. It isn’t stuck, but I was much more careful chewing the rest of the pork chop.

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So Much More Than Weight

Yesterday at Walmart I saw an obese woman sitting in a motorized wheelchair. I was surprised to find myself judging her. “If she would get up and walk, she wouldn’t have to use that chair,” I thought.

I have no reason to judge. She was much smaller than me. I’m not opposed to using the courtesy motorized carts available at the store if my back is especially hurting or I’m just feeling lazy and don’t want to walk. The upsetting thing about my judgement was I have no idea who that person was or what she was about. I’m sure people judge me for my size and weight. They don’t know me, but they judge me. I tend to ignore the looks I get and carry on. Being judged silently is bothersome, but I need to work on not judging others in the same condition as me. Easier said than done.

Fast Food

Today, I swung by Taco Bell to grab something quick to eat. I’m still in the soft food stage of a four-stage process of retraining myself how to eat. The 5-layer, beefy burrito looked wonderful so I ordered it. Now back at home the burrito sits off to the side. I have no desire to eat it. I drank the rest of a chocolate protein drink and now my stomach is pleasantly full–no room for the burrito.

I’ll pop it in the refrigerator for later; later may never come.

Still Stalled

I’m still stalled at 412, but know this is part of it. I spoke with other gastric sleevers who said they had stalls early on too and for me not to worry. That’s nice to know, but I am worried because it has been six days. One of the gastric sleevers said they stalled early on for two weeks. How frustrating. I’ll just have to keep doing what I’m supposed to do and wait for the weight to start coming off again.

Stalled at 412

Well, I was losing weight at about 1 pound a day until about three days ago when I stalled. Maybe it was because I had bragged about losing 1 pound a day online to a weight-loss support group. Maybe not. Whatever the reason I need to figure out what is causing this several day stall.

So today, I’m recording what I eat and when. So far I drank an Atkins protein shake–15 grams of protein and ate 3 meatballs all of which total took me 10 minutes to eat. Think I need to slow it down.

I Gave Up Trying to Lose Weight

I gave up. It was as easy as that. My efforts without surgery had failed. I decided months ago to get gastric sleeve surgery in order to restart my weight loss efforts. I had the surgery November 19 at 3:15 p.m. I was losing steadily 2 pounds every two days, but hit a snag a day ago. I went from 409 to 411, which was frustrating and made me want to give up weight loss yet again. There is no giving up when you have surgery. I’ll have to wait it out. Been on my period this week, which affects my weight. I feel heavier, which is not good. Overall, right now, I feel frustrated with this weight loss stall. I didn’t expect it so soon.