Cookies and Going Up

This isn’t the way it was supposed to be. I had the surgery. You know THE surgery to have my stomach turned into a sleeve. After which I was supposed to live happily ever after as a size 16….What happened along the way? Cookies. Cake. Potato Chips. Anything and everything happened along the way. Do I really hate myself that much that I won’t stop eating sweets? That I won’t stop eating period (.) Ugh! There’s a monster living inside me called ME who wants what she wants when she wants it. Oh that I could eat only when I am hungry and only “good things”. Instead I betray myself with food. I sabotage my efforts when I get home from work having been very good while under the eye of my co-workers, but once out of the spotlight I go on binges that would make a circus fat woman proud.

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