It is Saturday morning. I’m up early. It’s time to go workout. Yeah or nay it doesn’t matter I’m going to do it.
I’ve been struggling with my weight for months now. I’m stuck in the 370s ugh!! Even so, I continue to workout. I think I must be overeating for what I’m doing at the gym. There is no other explanation for it.
“Just keep swimming.” That’s what someone told me today when they asked how it was going with the weight loss. I told them I was stalled. They told me to be patient and to just keep doing what I’m doing. What I’m doing is skipping workouts because of the heat or I don’t feel up to it or whatever the excuse at the moment is. Plus, I do really well with food choices during the day, but at night I find I’m over eating. I’m not eating bad stuff, just overeating too much of the good stuff. It is so easy to overeat when I log everything into Sparkpeople.com I find myself going overboard. I am allotted 2400 calories a day, which should be enough. It is enough, but not when I eat pork country style ribs with barbecue sauce on it.
I went kayaking at Argo Canoe Livery in Ann Arbor Michigan Friday night and then again Sunday afternoon at Hayes State Park in Onsted Michigan. It was a scary experience as I paddled and drifted on the water looking down at the rocks and weeds–thinking I would flip and because my neck and back hurt–I was using muscles I haven’t used in quite some time–I cut the paddling short. Even so, I did it and plan to go kayaking again–building my confidence each time. What have you done to build your bravery?
Friday night, March 18, I joined a gym and worked out for 30 minutes riding the stationary bike. I went back Saturday night, but they closed at 7 p.m. Today, I plan to go after church and ride the bike for another 30 minutes to get in a full workout and maybe do some time on the machines. Feels good to be working out again.
I weighed in naked today and found I weigh 364.0. I want to get down to 299 pounds, which means I’ll need to loose just over 5 pounds in one year to do it. Time to watch what I eat and get that gym membership. Oh yeah and take the rest of the donuts to work so I can make my co-workers fat too.
I weighed in tonight after work and found I am 370.2. Enough is enough. I need to join a gym and start eating right. I can. I will. Just as soon as I finish this box of donuts.
This isn’t the way it was supposed to be. I had the surgery. You know THE surgery to have my stomach turned into a sleeve. After which I was supposed to live happily ever after as a size 16….What happened along the way? Cookies. Cake. Potato Chips. Anything and everything happened along the way. Do I really hate myself that much that I won’t stop eating sweets? That I won’t stop eating period (.) Ugh! There’s a monster living inside me called ME who wants what she wants when she wants it. Oh that I could eat only when I am hungry and only “good things”. Instead I betray myself with food. I sabotage my efforts when I get home from work having been very good while under the eye of my co-workers, but once out of the spotlight I go on binges that would make a circus fat woman proud.