Cookies and Going Up

This isn’t the way it was supposed to be. I had the surgery. You know THE surgery to have my stomach turned into a sleeve. After which I was supposed to live happily ever after as a size 16….What happened along the way? Cookies. Cake. Potato Chips. Anything and everything happened along the way. Do I really hate myself that much that I won’t stop eating sweets? That I won’t stop eating period (.) Ugh! There’s a monster living inside me called ME who wants what she wants when she wants it. Oh that I could eat only when I am hungry and only “good things”. Instead I betray myself with food. I sabotage my efforts when I get home from work having been very good while under the eye of my co-workers, but once out of the spotlight I go on binges that would make a circus fat woman proud.


I’ve been stuck in the 360s for the last three months. Currently I weigh 359.4. This is very frustrating. I attribute my lack of progress to overeating. I don’t think I’m eating much, but obviously I’m doing something wrong to only make it into the 360s. I’m not exercising so that could be part of the problem.